


hanamura and souda make bad decisions (really bad decisions) on impulse because they're idiots

by sabishibaby



Category: Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: A Lot Of Shitty Decisions, Bro Time, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I mean it, JoJo References, Stupidity, What Was I Thinking?, You Have Been Warned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24013360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabishibaby/pseuds/sabishibaby
Summary: god this is some self indulgent shit that i needed because i've been really head empty recently
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	1. glowstick juice is a dish best (not) served microwaved

**Author's Note:**

> kazuteru? my comfort ship? haha nooooo
> 
> haha yeeeeesssss

bad decisions are something that hanamura teruteru considers himself to be the einstein of, and he's proud of it.

souda kazuichi has to agree. they both can come up with some wickedly awful ideas but for some reason hanamura just seems to have that extra level of dumb blonde who isn't even blonde that makes him more... stupid. and for some reason they just roll with it.

"so what are we wasting our time on today, bro?" the shark toothed taller male spoke up. they were beyond bored and because there's only one brain cell between them they always know when they're going to need to blow off some steam by doing something impulsive, stupid, and... Possibly dangerous or illegal because at this point who even cares? They could beg Kuzuryu to cover for them. even if the male swore and insisted it was the last time the two of them knew he'd just be forced to keep bailing them out forever because goddamnit, they sure were a pair of idiots.

"i dunno... i got nothing." souda stared at hanamura in shock as the smaller male simply flopped back, the lollipop he had in his mouth supported by his little hand holding it so it wouldn't be dropped.

"what do you mean, nothing? bro, you... you always got something! bro, i... bro."

"bro."

"bro!!"

"okay, FINE, we'll... drink glowstick juice."

"we did that last week."

"microwaved glowstick juice."

"HOLY SHIT HANAMURA, YOU'RE A GENIUS!!!"

hanamura groaned, walking over to the cupboard and pulling out two glowsticks. "i only got the pink ones, they're pretty."

"that's gay, dude."

"i know ;)"

"okay, let's microwave these bad boys and then drink the juice out of them. this won't go wrong for sure!"

they both knew there would be disastrous results but they mostly did it for said disastrous results. they found it really funny. like the time souda landed himself in hospital after trying to do a backflip on a really old bike. or the time that hanamura got hospitalised because souda threw a scooter at him. now that they thought about it, a lot of their schemes always resulted in hospitalisation. huh.

beep. beep. beeeep.

"yUMMY. OUR MEAL IS COMPLETE."

"t h a n k y o u f a t h e r f o r t h i s m e a l i a m a b o u t t o c o n s u -"

"cut it with the gay christian shit hanamura you're an atheist"

"oh yeah. FUCK GOD BE GAY DO CRIMES DRINK JUICE"

with that said he downed the fucking microwave glowstick juice, as did souda. now, you may be wondering... what happened? well, luckily it wasn't that bad. they just had to deal with some annoying throat irritation and itching for a while.

"dude... bro... hanamura... your plans fucking suck."

"i know."

"...wanna go steal a cat?"

"FUCK YES"


	2. hanamura and souda's bizarre cat stealing adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> goddamnit hanamura when you said be gay do crime i'm sure this wasn't what you meant

so here they were in the afternoon, about to steal a cat from some big petsathome place or something. and you know what? at this point hanamura teruteru has a death wish, and is prepared to die any moment. he's probably on an fbi watchlist. if he wasn't, he'd be surprised, because he's done some stuff.

"okay, you sure about this?"

"souda. it's a cat."

"is that a yes?"

"of course it is."

"huh."

these two often had stupid conversations together, and nobody ever wanted to stick around and hear them. that's why these two had so many opportunities to be alone together so they could scheme their next almost suicide mission, because everyone fucking hates these horny assholes and their stupid ways.

"bro,,, maybe i could get one for miss sonia."

"bro,,, she,,, is,,, dating,,, tanaka,,,"

"whatever, i'm bisexual anyway, i can go for :zany: anyone :zany:"

"thought you were american."

"i'm going to kill you one day hanamura"

"please do"

anyway, back to our scheduled program from before i decided to add this unfunny little conversation. please forgive the author, guys. he's a fucking idiot. they were walking around in this place until they found the area where the cats are. souda personally wasn't as big as a cat person as hanamura, but he was willing to steal a cat if it made him happy. just bros being bros, nothing gay! nothing gay for sure. two bros, chilling in a pet store... five ft apart because they're just bros!

"okay. we're taking this one. you take it, i can't reach." haha, hanamura was too short. in your face, hanamura. you'll never be tall, hanamura. keep dreaming.

"ha, shortie."

"okay gaylord."

"*d r a m a t i c g a s p*"

"just take the damn cat. am i the only one with a brain cell?"

"...wait. you aren't my best bro, hanamura would never speak so abrasively!!!"

"shit."

suddenly hanamura morphs into j o t a r o k u j o , having been caught spying on souda for the government.   
"everybody knows shit's fucked. *music* you've been caught."

"FUCKCKKFHJHCKcckKKCkcd nOOOOubJBHJDV :pensive: pensive: :crying_cat_face:"

"that's right kid, down to the s l i n k e r"

"nOOOUKDHdkjjJDHGJDhddjdoooOooooO i can''@@tTTttTttttbNbHf :((("

to be continued ---->


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